


Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

by nocturnalsleuth



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Parfaits, lots of yelling, water and fire elementals, yo these are my Villainous OCs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalsleuth/pseuds/nocturnalsleuth
Summary: Tempris decides to retire from villainy.Typhia is FUCKING PISSED.





	Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

 

When Typhia thought of the exact moment her relationship with her sister crumbled, she thought of an ice cream shop. Some humans might call it small and cozy, with tables set up outside for the hot days of summer. Typhia just thought it was wretchedly human.

 

She was shocked to see her sister was sitting at a table, in her disgusting human guise, sampling what appeared to be layers of fruit and ice cream. Typhia frowned, tying to remember the last time she heard news about her sister’s exploits. She vividly remembered a headline reading “TEMPEST STRIKES AGAIN: Farmer’s crops destroyed, food shortage imminent.” That was just two weeks ago.

 

“Tempris!”

 

Her sister looked up and waved, then gestured to the seat opposite. Typhia’s body found it hard to move, torn between running away from the dastardly cute sight in front of her and moving forward to investigate the cause.

 

Her body made the decision for her, and the water elemental found herself hovering over her older sister.

 

“What- what are you doing?” Typhia’s question was partially rhetorical, partially inspired by the shock of having seen her infamous countryside-razing sister enjoying human delights. Maybe she was mistaken, there was no way her sister could take pleasure in these pointless human past-times, maybe she was formulating her latest plot of terror?

 

“Eating a parfait.” Tempris responded with a deadpan expression. “It’s good, I’ve stopped here often the last couple weeks.” Typhia’s eye twitched in disgust, where was the raw passion, the joy, the hate, that had practically oozed out of her older sister’s very core just two weeks ago???

 

She tried to take a calming breath. “No, I mean, WHY???”

 

Tempris scooped another bite into her mouth. “Because I find I like parfaits.”

 

It was about then that Typhia’s confusion and outrage pushed her over the brink. “THAT’S NOT- VILLAINS DON’T LIKE PARFAITS, THEY LIKE WREAKING HAVOC!!!”

 

“I’m retired now, I like parfaits.” Tempris barely showed any reaction to her little sister’s outburst. “I’ve bought a small house near the park. It has a lovely garden, you should stop by sometime and see for yourself.” Typhia’s mouth was agape, which Tempris either ignored or didn’t realize was a symptom of dumbfounded shock.

 

“YOU’RE RETIRING???” Typhia had never heard any mention of retirement, parfaits, or gardens. Her sister had never had much interest in them before. “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HAVOC AND MAYHEM??!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JOY IN CRUSHING THE INFERIOR HUMAN SPECIES??!!!”

 

Tempris glanced over to the other customers, who were beginning to murmur amongst themselves. “They’re not as bad as I once thought, being human actually seems really nice.” She returned her gaze to the water elemental. “Are you going to join me or run off? Really Typh, the parfaits here are scrumptious.”

 

Typhia shook with emotions she didn’t entirely understand. But she understood betrayal. “J-join you?” her voice shook with a giggle. “YOU’RE WEAK, JOIN YOU??? JUST A MONTH AGO YOU’D SET FARMS EASTWARD ABLAZE AND REVELLED AS THE FLAMES SPREAD!!! WHERE DID THAT TEMPRIS GO??? YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY TO BECOMING THE GREATEST VILLAIN THE WORLD’S EVER SEEN, MAYBE EVEN SO GREAT AS BLACK HAT!!! YOU THINK I’D JOIN A MONSTER SO TAME AS TO PRETEND TO BE HUMAN, A MONSTER WITH HUMAN SKIN, EATING HUMAN CONCOCTIONS???”

 

At this point Typhia was hardly breathing, the water in her body grew unstable, writhing under her amorphous skin, attracting moisture from the air. Still Tempris’s gaze was even. It just made her more angry.

 

”YOU THOUGHT WRONG!!!” and with that last shout, Typhia turned away, shape turning squat and compact, a form that moved much like a bullet made of water would.

 

Typhia would show her sister how foolish humans were. She’ll see. Typhia would accomplish exactly what it appeared her sister had given up on. She’d see. Typhia would show her sister that she could have been the greatest villain of them all.

 

Tempris sat alone at the shop table, the other customers clearly avoiding meeting her eyes. She took another bite of the parfait.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah the title's a shrek reference that was my sister's fault


End file.
